The Lonestar Gal

So much for the Flu Shot!

2009-02-20T09:32:00.000-08:00

Don't think you are safe just because you were a good doobie and got your flu shot this year.
I am, miserably, on day EIGHT of sweats, jammies and kleenex! Finally went to the doctor the other day and was told that I have the flu AND bronchitis.
YAY.
Let the good times roll.

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!

2009-02-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

Hey all,
So very sorry that it has been SO long since I posted. YES, I am still alive out here! I have lots to tell you, but, for now, suffice it to say that I have just been insanely busy for the past couple months, and have not made time to post.
Unfortunately, although we all would like to think we are, I just am NOT Wonder Woman, I would LOVE to look like her though! I promise to sit myself down after this week and catch up on all my favorite blogs, and post my own goings-on. Hopefully on Sunday. Things are nuts right through Saturday, but will hopefully start to slow down after that.
Until then, just know that I think of you all often, and wonder how you are all doing.
Be wonder women!
V

She Did Everything She Could To Stay Alive?

2008-03-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

So... once again, after the tragic death of this poor woman at the hands of a madman who perhaps should have been drowned at birth; politicians and media jackals are spouting out their "sadness" at the loss of a young, vibrant woman. I must say... I SO AGREE WITH LAWDOG ON THIS! check out his post dear readers, (should I actually have any) if that woman had been allowed and/or encouraged *gasp* to learn about firearms and to carry protection with her, the story may have ended quite differently.
Although, in this country, which I love with all my heart, don't get me wrong, she would most likely have been arrested, charged, and thrown in jail, then successfully sued by the perp's remaining gene pool.
As the title of my blog will attest, I am soon to become a resident of the Lonestar State. Very soon upon attaining my residency of that wonderful bit of earth, I fully intend to take training in the safe handling of firearms, and purchase my own brand of self-protection!
I admit, I have always had a major fear on for guns, ever since watching my drunken father attempt to blow my mother's head off one fine summer day. But, I was WRONG to fear the tool instead of the operator!
If any of you just happen to reside in the Dallas/Plano area of Texas, perhaps you could steer me in the proper direction toward attaining my goal? I am looking for a good, reputable place to learn about handgun safety and firing, and to make an educated choice in the selection of my own weapon.
Thanks for reading!

Sometimes People Irritate Me

2008-03-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

I work for a non-profit crisis center. We deal with Suicide, Sexual Assault, Prevention Education, and Information and referral services for people in need. My main job is to recruit and train volunteer sexual assault advocates to respond to the hospitals or law enforcement agencies when a sexual assault victim reports. I also teach classes in the community on the prevention of child sexual abuse.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, which, as you can well imagine, is a VERY busy time for us. We do lots of events throughout the community the entire month. This year, as many of our volunteer advocates are students at the university across the street, when I was asking for suggestions of possible ways to get the message out across the campus, one of our advocates came to me with a wonderful performance art piece that she wants to put on.
This was a great idea, and would really help those who have never been victimized to perhaps understand just a minute amount of the pain and shame associated with being a victim.
But, I was forced to face reality. College campuses are not exactly wanting to let the word out that sexual assault occurs on their campus. Shhhhhh! Don't talk about it!
Anyway, I had to play politics... which I HATE... I am so not into playing nice with territorial, self indulgent people. But, I went to a meeting with the head of the counselling center today. A more territorial woman, I don't believe I have ever met.
What was worse, in my mind, is the fact that we are both trying to do the same thing! We both have a vested interest in helping survivors to deal with the assault and to reach a place of healing and strength. But, you would not believe the tap dance I had to do today to get the woman to allow a student living on that campus to set up a performance piece on campus. It really made me ill. She had no objection to the performance art... her objection was the fact that the student was performing it to raise awareness of our agency and the services we provide to anyone in need.
As I said... sometimes people irritate me.

My Head Spun Around On My Shoulders Today, Then Exploded

2008-04-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

I was sent this link http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2008/04/02/brits/index.html today.
I swear, my head spun round on my shoulders, I swallowed my tongue, and I believe my head exploded for good measure!
This "person", and I use the term extremely loosely, The British National Party's London leader, Nick Eriksen compares rape to a woman being force fed chocolate cake! and says "To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting that force feeding a woman chocolate cake is a heinous offence." and "Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible physical ordeal."
OH. MY. BLEEDING. LORD.
I am literally quivering with rage.
Let me know what you think.

My Son, The Total Doofus

2008-04-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

So tonight I had grand plans after work. I was going to make dinner for the kiddos, (hubby is out of town for business this week), then I was going to continue with the oh so fun project of removing layers of old wallpaper from the walls of one of the bedrooms.
As I mentioned previously, we are moving to Texas this summer, and since our current house is 108 years old, YES, REALLY!, there is much that needs to be done to prep it for sale. Anyway... I was going to peel wallpaper.
Instead, my 16 year old future brain surgeon comes into the kitchen as I am cooking dinner with a SOCK wrapped around the middle finger of his left hand. "Ummm, Son?" says I.
"Yes, mom?" says the future brain surgeon.
"Why is there a sock around your finger?" (secretly pretty sure of the answer, but, optimist that I am, hoping for the best, silly me!)
"Welllll... I was bored, cuz my computer is not working." sez he.
"And?" queries I, with one eyebrow quickly making its way up into my hairline. "Well, I was cutting something with my hunting knife and it kinda slipped".
So, instead of an exciting evening of peeling wallpaper, I got to make yet ANOTHER trip to the ER for the cleansing and suturing of a wound on my sons person.
I can't tell you how many times I have said to this boy as he leaves the house "Have a good time, but don't break yourself! I am busy today, and am NOT taking anyone to the hospital!" This kid has made more trips to the ER in his 16 years than I have in 40! Unreal.
You just wait until I get my hands on my brother that provided my accident prone teenager with a Buck Knife.
Oh, by the way... I requested that they give my son a Tetanus shot. It had been a few years since he last had one, and I figure, anyone dumbass enough to play with a flippin' Buck Knife deserves at the least a tetanus shot.

So... My Day Began With...

2008-04-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

All my life, I have had this irrational fear of spiders. Big ones, tiny ones, I don't care... I see a spider, my eyes bug out, my heart jumps into my throat, my body freezes and I hyperventilate. I then scream bloody murder for a husband, a son, a dog, I don't care, someone come save me from this vile evilness! Every time. Could it have anything to do with my evil older brothers ripping the legs off spiders and throwing the bodies on me when I was a young girl? Ya Think?! Brothers are EVIL.
Anyway.
This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I walked out of my home office and there it was, bold as you please on the arm of the sofa. The BIGGEST Wolf Spider I have EVER seen in my life. "Come on baby, I DARE you to try to walk past me" I swear, I heard it give an evil chuckle.
Now, as I mentioned in an earlier post, my husband is out of town on business. My sons had left for school, and the damn dogs were outside, happily frolicking in the grass, leaving me all alone with this monster of immense proportions. I froze.
"ok.... ok..... ok....ok.... ummm.... ok. oh god." I stood and chanted. I could not move, except my eyes, which were frantically searching the room for something, anything with which to rid the world of the beast set to devour small children and unsuspecting arachnophobes.
The only thing within arms reach was the vacuum. The only truly nice appliance I own. We have a Dyson... and after two or three years, it has never once clogged. Ever. I love my Dyson. Anyway. It was the only thing within reach, as I mentioned.
Slowly, sooo slowly so as to not disturb the beast and cause it to hide out until I fell asleep tonight, when it would have the perfect opportunity to climb into bed with me and devour my face while I slept, I reached over and grabbed the long wand attachment. (anyone who owns a dyson, knows that you don't just attach the wand, there is a bit of a process to it, which on a normal day, is no big deal)
I finally got the wand attached, then froze again as the spider moved a bit.
After making sure it was done for the moment, I slowly reached over and switched on the vacuum, and slooowwly approached the sofa, wand extended as far as my arms will reach to ensure that NO spider yuckiness gets anywhere near me; I chanted "don't you move, don't you move" over and over under my breath, then literally jumped forward three feet and sucked it up in the vacuum!
I then flung my beloved dyson from me, shuddered and shook for about five minutes then called my husband (who is in Tampa, two hours flight away) and snarked at him for making me kill my own spider.
So, now I have a huge spider INSIDE my vacuum, and you can bet your ass it won't be ME that empties it out!

It was one of those days

2008-04-11T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that make you want to pull your hair out by the roots, then bash your bald head repeatedly into the nearest solid object. Preferably a wall.
Firstly, regardless of the rather large stack of work waiting for my attention today, I had to leave after only half a day because with all the events we have going on for SAAM, (Sexual Assault Awareness Month) I have racked up enough comp. hours this week alone to take off a day and a half sometime real soon. Hmmm... Monday and Tuesday perhaps? Nahh, I'll save them for AFTER this month is over and I am reeling from exhaustion.
Anyway...
The deal on the house we were hoping to purchase in TX fell through today. Sad face. Our agent emailed me some documents that needed to be signed and sent back TODAY. No problem, right?
Yeah.
So. I get home, open my email and download the documents. Then hit "print". Nothing happened. "This document failed to print". No shit sherlock! For whatever reason, my printer is no longer recognizing my PC. yay. So, I go to hubby's PC and do the entire process over again. It prints out just ducky. Good to go. Get the papers signed, put them in my scanner to upload them for emailing. Nothing happened. I didn't even get an error message. Nothing.
Grrrr.
Well, the documents have to be back in the agent's hands before the close of business today. So, I hopped in my car and ran down to the library to get them faxed. "Sure, V, we can fax those for you at $1 per page!" says the perky library gal. A DOLLAR per page! Egads! Ok, fine, I need them sent.
Perky library gal loads them into the fax, punches in the number, page one sends, page two gets halfway into the fax... then stops. And nothing happens.
Unable to figure out the problem, perky library gal refers me to the bank across the street. I dodge farmer john's truck and run across to the bank. "Sure, we can fax those for you... no problem" so I hand over the documents, she runs them through the fax no problem.
However, by this time, I trust nothing and no one so, I call the agent. "hmm.. let me check. Nope, nothing in the fax. Did you send them to 214-***-****?" Yep. "Hmm.. Strange"
So.
I run back to the library where perky library gal informs me that the fax is once again working just fine. I hand over the papers yet AGAIN. She loads them into the fax, punches the number in and ... yep, you guessed it. Nothing!
By this time, I am a raving loon.
"Do you perchance have a scanner?" asked I, in my calmest, I'm about to go postal voice.
"Yes, but I don't know how to use it" replies perky library gal.
"I do, I do! Please, please, please let me use your scanner" I think there might even have been a tear tossed in with the begging. I know... pathetic. But, what can ya do?
So, she takes me back to the office, I get the papers scanned, attached them to an email and away they went. Finally.
It's a conspiracy, I am sure of it. Machines hate me.
Come to think of it... I'm not to fond of them at the moment.
Anybody remember that Stephen King movie where all the machines went nuts? "Maximum Overdrive" I think it was called. Seriously grade B movie with Emilio Estevez in it? I swear I heard that fax machine snicker.

Now What?

2008-04-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we flew to Texas a couple weeks ago and did a marathon home search. I think we looked at between 15-20 houses in two days. We found two that were pretty much what we were looking for. We put an offer on our favorite. Someone beat us to it. We put an offer on #2. Offer accepted. YAY! Financing agent says sure. YAY again! Pay $200 for an inspector to go out and do his thing. Inspection report comes back, and the foundation needs work. (Apparently, foundations are quite the issue in Texas)
Anyway, it needs $2500 in repairs, and we cannot get financed without the repairs being done or the price being reduced by said amount.
So, we resubmit our offer, including the needed changes. No Go. So... offer withdrawn. No house. Sad face.
So now we start the whole process all over again. Only problem is, we are 1,000 miles away! Grrr. We certainly cannot afford to keep flying down there to look at houses. So now, I am searching online for houses and let me tell you... trying to do a home search online is a great way to start, but actually getting an idea of the condition of a property from those tiny, grainy pictures is next to impossible!
Anyone have a small private jet they are willing to let us borrow for a quick weekend jaunt?

Guess I Belong

2008-04-13T07:09:00.001-07:00

Guess I belong in the 1970's.
Get down with my bad, protestin' self!
Where do you belong? Find out here:

http://www.blogthings.com/whatyeardoyoubelonginquiz/

I am amazed I ever found any!

2008-04-14T13:13:00.001-07:00

So, this afternoon I went to blogger and decided to look around a bit, trying to find some interesting new blogs to read. I have several that I keep up with regularly, and thought I would find some new ones to add to my list.
I went to my blog page, then hit "next blog". Amazingly enough, I ended up clicking "next blog" at least 40 times before I found one in English! I felt like I was wandering lost around the Tower of Babel!
Are there so few English speaking people left then?
Fairly discouraging, I must say.

Fairly random note; we got the final word from wonderful hubby's company today, and YES, they will be transferring him to Texas! We will be moving in June. Now if I could just find a house...

Wish I was in Texas already!

2008-05-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

Man, what the heck happened to Spring?
The weather the past few weeks has been lovely. All my flowers are in bloom, the grass is green, and we packed up our space heaters and cold weather clothes in storage in preparation for the move. Even nights have been plenty warm.
Until THIS week.
This week has been FREEZING. We even woke up to clumps of snow on the ground the other day. With no heat in the house, it has been about 54F consistently in the house all week.
And my bed-warmer is in Orlando!
I have been putting a heating pad under the covers in our bed at night about an hour before I go to bed, and then move it down to my feet when I actually climb in.
Sheesh!
Supposed to be warm again today though. YAY! I'm getting pretty tired from all the shivering.

Product Endorsement

2008-05-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

Found this AWESOME stuff yesterday! As I have mentioned before, we are getting our house ready to sell. I have been busily painting and prepping and so on and so forth, but I had not yet found anything that would get rid of the black mold growing in the boys bathroom. It was there when we moved into the house, and no amount of scrubbing would get rid of it. Very irritating!
Anyway, I was at Menard's yesterday picking up some paint rollers and other stuff, and came across this stuff... Rubbermaid Mildew & Mold Stain Remover It is AWESOME! Foul and nasty, make sure you are well ventilated, wear a mask & gloves, but I sprayed it on the mold and within two or three minutes it was GONE! Completely gone!
Normally, I hate using strong chemicals in, around, or near my house, cuz that's just nasty and bad for everyone. But, the mold had to go!
I highly recommend this stuff if you have a mold or mildew problem.

My Life ....Part 4

2008-05-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

So...
We got the cabin finished and moved in. My mother learned to cook entire meals on a wood stove or over a fire in a block pit outside in the clearing. This was where I learned to cook. To this day, I make some of the yummiest meals over a campfire.
We put a kerosene lamp on the table, one on the counter, and mounted four on the walls, one on each wall, and this was the sum total of the light in our house.
That fall I started in the new school. The craziest part of that was the fact that our cabin sat directly on the Pennsylvania/New York border. It was determined that since my bed was in the PA side of the cabin, I had to go to school in PA. Now, the NY school was about 15 minutes bus ride away. The PA school, over an hour bus ride. The bus could not make it up our hill, of course, so I walked a mile down to the bus stop every morning. In the beginning I did not mind the walk, since after about half a mile I met up with a few other kids that lived below us on the hill. It wasn't so bad. At least, until they found out how we lived.
Once word got around that we lived like the pioneers, and the kids saw my cheap, ugly clothes that were all my mother could afford because of the hours my father spent in the bar every day, life became hell. It got even worse after the day I overheard a group of girls talking about something called "Charlie's Angels" and a woman named Farrah Fawcett. I had no idea who they were talking about, so, wanting to make friends with these girls I decided to join the conversation.
"Who is Farrah Fawcett?" I asked. A shocked silence followed my question, and I knew I had done something wrong. Once they found out that I had no clue as I had no TV because we had no electricity, things got very bad in school.
From that day in the beginning of third grade I literally had no friends. Nobody spoke to me except to say something nasty. Even some of the teachers were mean.
Kids on our hill were particularly vicious. They threw rocks and sticks at me, continually taunting me as I walked up the hill toward home.
Once I got home, I had to get the fire going for dinner, make sure there was enough water for the night, do my homework and peel potatoes for dinner.
When my parents came home every night the same thing happened... my mother would walk in first, and she and I would look at each other. From her eyes, I would know whether my little brothers and I could safely stay in the house, or if I had to take them out into the woods away from the cabin to play until my father passed out on the couch and my mom called us in for dinner. He frequently got violent with her, so I would take the boys further away so they would not hear what was happening and get scared.
It was my job to protect them. No matter how rotten and horrible they were (aren't all little brothers?) they were my responsibility and nobody would hurt them. Ever.
I did not realize how good things were until they got much, much worse.

My Friend H

2008-05-10T20:10:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful friend named H. He and his wife and two cats live in Finland.
I have never actually met him, or her, or even their cats.
I met H about four years ago on the MSN game zone while playing backgammon, and we just hit it off, and have been friends ever since. We try to "get together" a couple times a month to play backgammon online, or just to say hello and catch up with each others lives.
H is a wonderful photographer, and sends me some of the most amazing pictures of birds I have ever seen. He, and most of Finland apparently, are very much into bird watching, and he and S (his wife) often take bird watching trips all over the countryside.
H and S also take several trips to various locations around the world each year. They can do that... they don't have kids, and therefore have money. Amazing how that works, isn't it?
So, a couple times a year I will open my email and find some truly amazing pictures of places like Austria, Bratislava, and other European cities. I get to see beautiful locations all over the world, without ever leaving my house.
Over the years I have met some truly wonderful people on the internet, and I love how it allows me to "meet" people all over the world. The internet gives a great sense of freedom.
H has said that someday, after we move to Texas, he and S will come to America for one of their vacations and visit us.
It will be lovely to actually meet my friend, and whip his butt in backgammon on a real board.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

To all the moms out there that do so much each and every day that goes unnoticed.
To all the moms out there for all the sleepless nights sitting by the bedside of a sick child.
To all the moms out there who spend hours every week driving a child back and forth to practice and never miss a game or recital.
To all the moms out there who have no one to share the burdens or the joys of having children.
To all the moms out there who have left everything and everyone they know to insure that their child can grow up safe and happy.
To all the moms out there that love unconditionally, yet still manage to discipline an unruly toddler or child.
To ALL the moms out there...
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Disaster in Myanmar

2008-05-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hey dear readers,
My brother and his wife spent three years in Myanmar as teachers. They have put together this video about the people of Myanmar and the need to circumvent the junta to get aid to the people that need it the most.
Please watch the video, and donate whatever you can. 100% of all donations will be given directly to the people of Myanmar who are in such desperate need.
Here is the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/jroetcs
Thank you for whatever you can do to help.
God Bless.
V

Help!

2008-05-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone who perhaps has the secret knowledge of how the heck to add a youtube video to a blog post, would you please share that secret?
I wanted to just put my brother's video on my post, but could not figure out how.
Any and all help would be very appreciated.
Thanks!

My Life Part 5... Drunks and Guns

2008-05-14T15:40:00.000-07:00

Once in a while my fathers friend would have his teenage son come spend some time at our cabin for a week or two in the summer. We'll call him Tom.
This one summer right after we moved into the cabin, we all loaded up in the car and went to a doubleheader baseball game about 45 minutes drive away. All of us kids took off to play, running around like hooligans as kids will do on a fine summer day at a baseball field. We had a grand day eating hotdogs and drinking pop.
My mother (lugging my baby brother with her) met up with some of the players wives and spent her day chatting with friends and avoiding my father.
Dear old dad spent his day hanging out near the concession stand with buddies slurping down one Genesee beer after another.
Mom told dad before the end of the second game that we needed to leave because the baby was fussy or something. He, of course, was enjoying his beer swilling and bullshitting too much to leave just because she could not handle the kids.
Mom continued trying to get us all rounded up and ready to leave. Dad meanwhile was feeling very abused and put upon because he was having to listen to her tell him we needed to go.
He was smashed beyond belief.
As I have mentioned before, sober dad = charming, funny. Drunk dad = dangerous.
I could literally feel his rage directed at her, and was afraid. He roared for us kids to get in the car, all the while glaring at mom.
We got in the back, and mom reached in and handed the baby to me. After she stood up, and put one leg in to get in the car, my father stomped on the gas pedal, dragging my mother alongside the car for a little ways while she was screaming at him to stop the car. Finally, he let her get in, and peeled out onto the road.
Not a word was spoken by anyone. But, I knew what was coming, and my fear jumped to terror of the night ahead.
He turned onto the highway leading home, and instead of maintaining legal speed, continued to press down on the gas pedal, ever so slowly increased speed, glaring at my mother, daring her to say a word. In his mind, if she said anything in an attempt to tell him what to do, that would justify what was coming next.
I was sitting in the middle on the back seat, and could see the speedometer needle reach 80, pass it to 85, 90, 95, 100, 110, finally pegging at 120mph.
All the while, he was glaring at my mother, weaving in and out of traffic, so drunk I am surprised he could even see.
Mom tried to calmly get him to slow the car as he was speeding up. He just glared. She finally said "N, if you want to kill yourself, wait until your family is not around!"
I could hear my voice in my head saying over and over "stop mom, maybe it will be ok. Stop mom, and maybe it will be ok" I knew better of course. But it was like a mantra repeating over and over in my head.
Shockingly, we made it to the house without dying, or killing anyone else. The fear was a tight knot in my stomach, I needed to throw up and my hands were shaking. I could literally taste my fear. Mom said "Kids, go in the house", and Tom and I took my 3 year old and 9 month old brothers into the cabin and waited for what would surely come next.
It was worse than I had imagined.
Out in the clearing in front of the cabin, he hit her, punched her, threw her onto the picnic table and clenched both hands tightly around her throat, bending her back over the table, raging at her in a tightly controlled voice that raised to a bellow. She was turning deep red and choking and I was beyond fear. Beyond terror.
Finally, when she was near unconsciousness, he let go and stormed into the house.
He passed us without a glance and went into the sleeping area where his guns were mounted on the wall. He pulled down the .12 gauge shotgun, loaded both barrels and headed back to the front door. He opened the screen door all the way and aimed the gun at my mother, who was still gasping for air at the picnic table.
Just as she looked up, sensing movement from his direction, he pulled up, aimed at her head, and fired. KABOOM!
Time stopped. My mother screamed his name, my brothers screamed and began to cry in great, terrified, gulping sobs, and I yelled at my father to stop.
Before she could get away, he aimed again, and pulled the trigger. KABOOM!
Knowing that he was out of ammunition for the moment, my mother tried to grab us kids and take us with her to walk to the neighbors house to call the police. He very calmly told her that she was more than welcome to get the fuck out, but she was not taking his kids anywhere, and he would kill her if she tried.
With terror on her face, she looked at me and said "take care of the boys, I will be back soon" and with that, she began walking down the hill.
I didn't know what to do next. The boys were crying and hysterical and I could not get them to calm down. Tom looked as if he was afraid to breathe.
"Get outside, but don't go anywhere"
This was said calmly, with dead eyes as he looked at me, standing there, a skinny nine year old with a baby in her arms and a toddler holding her leg.
I was too afraid not to obey, but it was beginning to get a bit dark by this time, and there was nowhere to go, so Tom and I took the babies and went to sit in the car.
After some time the three year old calmed down and began playing quietly in the back seat. The baby cried himself to sleep. None of us had had dinner.
We sat there for hours, occasionally hearing ranting or crashing coming from inside the cabin.
"I will shoot the first cop I see! I will shoot anyone who comes near this cabin! If that bitch sends the cops here I will kill them then myself!" I heard him ranting. I wished he would just pass out. Then we could go inside and I could feed the kids and put them to bed. My arms were tired from holding the baby, so I lay him on the floor by my feet.
Time stopped it seemed, and things got very quiet in the cabin. It got darker and darker until finally at about 10 or 11pm, a patrol car comes up the hill and two police officers get out. They come to the car to check on us and I told them that my father had guns and had threatened to shoot any cops he sees.
The officers took their flashlights and with their guns drawn, approached the cabin quietly and crouched low. I kept waiting to hear the first shot come from the cabin.
As they got close to the cabin, the turned off their lights and called out to my father. No response.
They walked around the cabin looking in windows. I could not watch. I could not keep myself from watching.
Eventually, the officers came back, leading my handcuffed father to their cruiser. They put him in the back, got in the front and drove away without a word to us. They just left us there in the car. A boy of 15, a girl of 9, and two boys aged 3 and 9 months. They left us.
I picked up the baby, Tom picked up my other brother, who had fallen asleep by then, and we carried them into the cabin and put them to bed. Then we sat at the table and waited.
A couple of hours later, my mother came home. I was never so happy and relieved to see another person in my life.
The next morning, my mom drove to town to press charges against my father. She stood before the judge who told her "He has been released. We put him in a cell for the night, and I talked to him this morning. He's sorry for how he behaved and promised never to do it again".
In later years, my mother told me that she just stared at the judge for a moment and then said "He strangled me. He pointed a gun at my head and pulled the trigger. Twice! and you let him go?" At that moment, she knew that nobody would help us. We were on our own.
Later that day as we were working outside, my father walked up the hill, took my mother in the house for a few minutes and then they came outside and started working like nothing had happened the night before.
I wonder if he ever noticed the bruises?
I wonder if he ever noticed the powder burns on her forehead or the singed hair where his shots had come within a hairsbreadth away from killing her?

He's Home!!

2008-05-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

Hubby's Home!!!! YAYYYY! Yippeeeee!
Everyone have a great day today... I know I'm going to!

What to write about?

2008-05-19T17:36:00.000-07:00

So.
Between hubby coming home, slicing a vein and bleeding signatures and money to settle on the new house, working to get the old house set to sell, prepping my awesome job for my leaving, kids & dogs, you would think I would have plenty to write about.
La dee da... nothing.
I think my brain is tired.
Maybe something will come to me tomorrow. I could ostensibly write about my life, but I don't want to depress the hell out of everyone every day, so I try to post other things in there to break up the ickieness.
So... maybe tomorrow.
Hope you are all having a great day.

A short respite

2008-05-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh. Peace and quiet. No sound but the hum of the computer and the clicking of the keys on the keyboard. Sunshine streaming through the window and the chirping of birds.
This is my world at this moment.
Peaceful and lovely. And I am most definitely taking advantage of it while I have it!
J is off working. D spent the night at a buddies house. Hubby just left and will return at approximately 5pm, and the dogs are outside in their play yard.
The sun is shining, birds are singing, and the world is a happy place. And, since all of that is about to change, I intend to wring every bit of relaxation I can get out of this one day, 'cuz it has to last me.
Hubby is on his way to Indianapolis to pick up two of his kids.
So. Two more testosterone flooded humans are about to descend upon my world. Don't get me wrong, I am not the stereotypical wicked stepmother. I have a great relationship with the kids, and love them to death. But. They are high maintenance kids.
For example: Their mother has never made them eat healthy food. That's pretty much all I make. Every meal is a litany of "I don't like that" with my oldest stepson gagging at the table before a bite even touches his lips.
She has never allowed, nor made them, think or do for themselves. Example: my 16 y/o stepson cannot make himself something to eat if he is hungry. Nothing. Unless it is a frozen burrito that he can stick in the microwave, and then I have to tell him how to do it.
She has never given them any chores to do around the house. She actually told me once that, "my kids don't do chores" when we went to pick them up for a summer visit. I immediately responded with "They do at our house". She has always babied them and kept them essentially helpless. She insists that her kids be "allowed to be kids". I agree. Kids should be kids, because adulthood is coming and sticks around.
What she doesn't seem to understand is that in a few short years, these teens are going to leave and move out on their own, and they are in no way prepared to take care of themselves. She is really stunting their growth and maturity. They will have a real struggle ahead of them because they were never taught by their mom to do anything or to solve problems by themselves.
Being a kid does NOT mean that there are not lessons to be learned for the future.
So. When they come to our house... they have chores. They have to take turns with everyone else in the house at doing dishes, running the vacuum, dusting and cleaning bathrooms. And they have to clean up after themselves.
OH MY GOD THE TORTURE! HORRORS! I am even teaching them to cook!
Maybe she is right... maybe I am the evil stepmother.
I am evil incarnate, and should be destroyed.
In the meantime, I am going to take full advantage of the peace and quiet before they descend upon our world.

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T13:04:00.001-07:00

Today is Memorial Day.
A day to remember those who gave their lives that we may be free.
Free to fly our Flag with pride.
Free to speak our minds.
Free to live, love, laugh, worship, learn, each in our own way.

I have never lost a loved one in the struggle for freedom. But my husband served for years before I ever met him. He was in during the first Gulf War. Had he not been needed in Germany, he could have been lost before I ever had a chance to meet him.

I just want to say to all the brave, resolute men and women who voluntarily have put themselves in harms way to protect the American way of life...to those who made the sacrifice, to the families of those who have been lost in that struggle...
THANK YOU!
You are the reason we are free. May we never forget it.

Stem Cells Anyone?

2008-05-28T03:10:00.000-07:00

My Doctor is starting me on a new medication today that is such a horrendous mix of chemicals that they have to infuse them over a period of six hours. Fun times, fun times!
Yea. I'm thinkin' not.
When the insurance company approved (at up to $11,000 per dose) the medication change, I called to make the appointment. Now, for the past year, I have been getting Remicade through IV every six weeks and was able to schedule it for a Friday (my day off). With this crap, the nurse told me that I would have to come on a Wednesday, as they can only administer it when the doctor is in the office all day because they never know how a patient will respond to the cocktail!
For the love of God people! Can we make an effort to come up with something a little LESS likely to kill me?
So, since in the thirteen years since I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (an Auto-Immune Disease in which my immune system is attacking and destroying any and all joint tissue) there has not been a medication that has worked for longer than a few months, a year at most, we are looking into ASC (Adult Stem Cell therapy).
Yes! It can be done, We can make her better, faster, stronger than ever before!
Oh, wait...Sorry for the Bionic Woman side-trip there.
I may have to go to Israel, or Japan, but apparently there is a process by which they can take stem cells from MY body, reprogram them, put them back in, and put me in total remission!
Sign me up people! Must do some further research into this. And, hubby mentioned yesterday that there may actually be some places here in the states that can do it. Picture the semi-cripple happy dance happening here at the thought of that!
Ok, gotta go get ready for this.

He's gone again, and other random thoughts

2008-06-03T05:35:00.000-07:00

So, wonderful hubby left yesterday for yet another business trip. Sad face.
This time though, he will only be gone a few days, and should report back to the homestead around midnight Thursday night.

We finally have a contract on the house in Texas, and the in-laws went to do a walk-through with our agent on Saturday and sent us a bunch of pictures. It is a bit of an older home, but on the plus side it IS 85 years newer than our current house, which is definitely a good thing! The only downside I can see is that it has a "one butt" galley kitchen and not a lot of cupboard space in the kitchen, but I am sure I will learn to deal. The rest of the house is very open and nice, and the closets are great.

In the two weeks that they have been here, eldest stepson has logged an average of 13 hours per day on the computer and youngest stepson has watched the first four seasons of BTVS on DVD in their entirety.
The only time they have stepped out the front door is when oldest takes out the trash and youngest takes out the dogs. The weather has been gorgeous, and I cannot fathom spending every minute indoors. They confuse me, I admit it. But, basically they are great kids, if a bit messy, so it's all good.

Oldest son is prepping for Graduation on Sunday (YAY! finally!) and we have all been making the rounds of various Graduation Parties this past week.
My ex-husband, his new wife, and their newborn (yes, a graduate and a newborn, **shudder**) will be here this weekend, along with my former M-I-L. Fun times, fun times.
Most of my family are teachers in NY state, and are still in school til the end of the month, so sadly will be unable to make the 500 mile drive out here.
We will be having a BBQ for his party out in the backyard, son is planning a trap-shoot competition, and we will have a bonfire after dark. Should be a good time, except for the noise of the gunfire. However, a good thing about that is we should not have to worry about any of the hundreds of birds that have decided to take up permanent residence in our trees poo-ing on anyone. Can't imagine they will stick around long once the guns start blazing. I may even take a turn trying to hit a tiny flying disk. We'll see.

Picture at top is our (hopefully) new house in Texas. Keep your fingers crossed for us that all turns out well and we can close next week as scheduled. Bureaucrats make the home buying process WAY harder than it needs to be.

Have a happy day!