So much for the Flu Shot!

Don't think you are safe just because you were a good doobie and got your flu shot this year.
I am, miserably, on day EIGHT of sweats, jammies and kleenex! Finally went to the doctor the other day and was told that I have the flu AND bronchitis.
YAY.
Let the good times roll.

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!

Hey all,
So very sorry that it has been SO long since I posted. YES, I am still alive out here! I have lots to tell you, but, for now, suffice it to say that I have just been insanely busy for the past couple months, and have not made time to post.
Unfortunately, although we all would like to think we are, I just am NOT Wonder Woman, I would LOVE to look like her though! I promise to sit myself down after this week and catch up on all my favorite blogs, and post my own goings-on. Hopefully on Sunday. Things are nuts right through Saturday, but will hopefully start to slow down after that.
Until then, just know that I think of you all often, and wonder how you are all doing.
Be wonder women!
V

Wednesday Weirdness

WW #25

1. If you could only eat one fruit for an entire year and that fruit would magically be in season and ripe that full year, which fruit would you choose and why?
I would have to say Cantaloupe. It has always been my favorite fruit.


2. What is something that makes you sad?
Seeing the sadness and wariness deep in the eyes of an abused child.

3. What would you do if you came home from an extended vacation and found that someone else was living in your house?
Freak out completely!

4. What US President, alive or otherwise, would you like to have dinner with?
hmm. Tough one. Probably Barack Obama.

5. What is your opinion on multitasking while driving? (Reading a book or work documents, changing clothes, fixing hair, applying make up, shaving your face, et cetera)
Ummm... Pull them over, kick their ass, then take away their right to drive!


6. Do you ever multitask while driving? If so, how often would you say you are guilty of it?
When I am driving, I am driving. Period the end. There are too many multi-tasking morons on the road trying to kill me for me to do anything other than pay complete attention.

7. Do you tend to be early, on time, fashionably late or LATE to work and work related events? Do you tend to be more or less punctual for non-work related events?
It makes me crazy to be late for anything. If I am going somewhere I have never been, I tend to arrive 15-30 minutes early to give myself time to find the place. Otherwise I have to be at least five minutes early, even if I just sit in my car and read until it is time to go in.


8. What is a quirk your significant other has that you would define as "cute"? If you have no SO, what is a quirk you find cute in a potential SO?
He will stop and shake his booty at me or lift a corner of his shirt just enough to expose a bit of belly as he is walking through the room in a silly sexy pose.

Tagged!

So, I have been Tagged! Here goes:
Seven random/weird facts about me:
1} I can't stand to wear necklaces, they make me feel like I am being choked.
2} No matter how tired I am, I can't fall asleep at night if I have not read at least a few pages in a book.
3} I adore giving gifts but feel very weird receiving them.
4} I am always nice to the Jehovah's Witnesses that come to my door to pass out tracts. I smile and say thank you, then throw them away so that I don't hurt their feelings.
5} I never say no when kids come to my door selling things for school or clubs, even if I don't need or want anything, or am broke.
6} If I had the room, I would adopt every stray or abused dog I found. Including all the dogs at the Humane Society and the pound.
7} I think snakes are cool, and almost bought a python when I was a teen.

Okay, who to tag?

Undomesticated
Stepping over the Junk
Bad Dogs and Such
Hammer
Mo

hmmm.. sad, I can only think of five. Ok, if you read my blog, consider yourself TAGGED! Just drop me a comment and let me know so I can check it out!

YAY ME!!

I got the job!!!
I am once again a contributing member of society! YAHOOOO!
So, I will be working with abused kids, abused women, single moms, etc... pretty much being a jack-of-all-trades.
Pretty cool, huh?
I start tomorrow morning, and since the training session is in a city about an hour and a half away, and I have to drive through downtown DFW during morning rush, I have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn in order to make it in time.
Anyway, I am very excited and can't wait to get started.
Thanks to all who crossed their fingers and prayed for me!
Maybe now I will have some good stuff to write about... working with kids, I am certain that zany things will happen daily.

Nothin'

There is literally NOTHING blogworthy happening in my life. That is really sad.
W.H. has been sick with a nasty cold for several days, and I am working like hell to NOT catch it.
As you know, when I had a life and a career and left the house every day I had things and thoughts to write about.
At the moment, during this mind-numbing time when I never leave the house except to get groceries, have not yet found a job (thanks to the damn republican government for totally fucking up the economy) I rarely have anything worth sharing.
Although I do have one interesting thing to note... I emailed my resume and references to the rape crisis center, the domestic violence shelter and the child advocacy center here. Not only did no one respond with a job offer, but nobody even tried to recruit me as a volunteer! I think there are some volunteer recruiters out there that are REALLY not doing their jobs! I would have been all over that resume like white on rice trying to snatch up someone with my background and qualifications as a volunteer. oh well. Not everyone can be as awesome as me as a volunteer recruiter... **snicker**

Wrestling Season Begins...

Well, its that time again boys and girls.
That time of year when several nights each week and every weekend are booked up for the next several months. When free time and sleeping in on a chilly Saturday morning are naught but a faint, wishful memory. When loading into the car at 4:30 in the morning to drive several hours to spend 8-10 hours sitting on hard bleachers waiting for that six minutes of excitement and hopefully, glory. Hour after hour spent in a hot, humid gymnasium filled to capacity with sweaty, smelly young men giving their all; coaches yelling in the corners, parents screaming from the stands, whistles blaring, buzzers buzzing and bleacher butt reigns supreme.

Yes. You know what I am talking about, don't you?

You've got it: High School Wrestling season.
My son is a wrestler.
I personally have been involved with High School wrestling for nearly 26 years, as my younger brothers were wrestlers in school, and now coach wrestling.
My sons both were wrestlers, and both began when they were about four years old.
I have spent a very large part of my life in wrestling rooms.
I love it. Every year I am excited for the start of the season. Every year I am sick to death of it by the end of the season.
I tend to adopt the guys on the team whose parents can't be bothered to attend meets. W.H. and I score matches, run the time clock, work the head table, run concessions, roll mats, clean up blood, stock the coaches hospitality room and feed the team.
In other words, we are involved.
I can't understand parents who don't get involved... why have kids if you are not going to be involved?
Anyway... for right now, I am excited for the start of the season. I can't wait for the whistle to blow on D's first match of the season. I think he is going to do really well this year.
I just pray for the safety of all our wrestlers... especially mine.

About Me

Copied this meme from m's blog at Rumblings and Bumblings.
The Bold are true….

Appearance:
- I am 5′4 or shorter.
- I think I’m ugly.
- I have many scars.
- I tan easily.
- I wish my hair was a different color.
- I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
- I have a tattoo.
- I am self-conscious about my appearance.
- I have/I’ve had braces. honestly, I wish I had gotten them as a child, I REALLY need them!
- I wear glasses.
- I’d get/have gotten plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
- I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
- I have had more than 2 piercings.
- I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
- I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:
- I’ve sworn at my parents.
- I’ve run away from home.
- I’ve been kicked out of the house.
- My biological parents are together.
- I have a sibling less than one year old.
- I want to have kids someday.
- I have children.
- I’ve lost a child.

Embarrassment:
- I’ve slipped out a “LOL” in a spoken conversation.
- Disney movies still make me cry.
- I’ve snorted while laughing.
- I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
- I’ve glued my hand to something.
- I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
- I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

Health:
- I was born with a disease/impairment.
- I’ve had stitches.
- I’ve broken a bone.
- I’ve had my tonsils removed.
- I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
- I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
- I’ve had serious surgery.
- I’ve had chicken pox.

Traveling:
- I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
- I’ve been on a plane.
- I’ve been to Canada.
- I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
- I’ve been to Japan.
- I’ve been to Europe.
- I’ve been to Africa.

Experiences:
- I’ve been lost in my city.
- I’ve seen a shooting star.
- I’ve wished on a shooting star.
- I’ve seen a meteor shower.
- I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
- I’ve pushed all the buttons in a lift. I'm guessing that means elevator
- I’ve been to a casino.
- I’ve been skydiving.
- I’ve gone skinny dipping.
- I’ve played spin the bottle.
- I’ve crashed a car.
- I’ve been skiing.
- I’ve been in a play.
- I’ve met someone in person from the Internet.
- I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
- I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
- I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
- I’ve played chicken.
- I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
- I’ve eaten Sushi.
- I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships:
- I’m single.
- I’m in a relationship.
- I’m available.
- I’m engaged
- I’m married.
- I’ve gone on a blind date.
- I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
- I have a fear of abandonment.
- I’ve been divorced.
- I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
- I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
- I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
- I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:
- I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender.
- I’ve kissed a member of the same gender.
- I’ve had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
- I’ve had sex with someone of the same gender.
- I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
- I am a cuddler.
- I’ve been kissed in the rain.
- I’ve had sex outdoors.
- I’ve hugged a stranger.
- I have kissed a stranger.
- I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:
- I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
- I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
- I have lied to my parents about where I am.
- I am keeping a secret from the world.
- I’ve cheated while playing a game.
- I’ve cheated on a test.
- I’ve driven through a red light
- I’ve witnessed a crime.
- I’ve been in a fist fight.
- I’ve been arrested.
- I’ve shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:
- I’ve consumed alcohol.
- I smoke cigarettes. - Quit smoking July 6th - Yay me!
- I smoke pot.
- I regularly drink.
- I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
- I’ve taken cough medicine when i wasn’t sick.
- I’ve done hard drugs.
- I’ve been addicted to an illegal substance.
- I can’t swallow pills.
- I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.

Mental health:
- I have been diagnosed with depression.
- I shut others out when I’m depressed.
- I take anti-depressants.
- I have had an eating disorder.
- I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
- I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
- I’m addicted to self harm.
- I’ve woken up crying.

Death:
- I’m afraid of dying.
- I hate funerals.
- I’ve seen someone dying.
- I have attempted suicide. - well, thought about it at least!
- Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
- Someone close to me has committed suicide.

Random:
- I can sing well.
- I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
- I open up to others too easily.
- I watch the news.
- I don’t kill bugs.
- I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
- I swear regularly.
- I am a morning person.
- I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
- I’m a snob about grammar.
- I am a sports fanatic.
- I play with my hair.
- I have/had “x”s in my screen name.
- I love being neat.
- I love Spam.
- I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
- I bake well.
- I don’t know how to shoot a gun. -but I intend to learn!
- I am in love with love.
- I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
- I laugh at my own jokes.
- I eat fast food weekly.
- I believe in ghosts.
- I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
- I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
- I am really ticklish.
- I love white chocolate.
- I bite my nails.
- I play video games.
- I’m good at remembering faces.
- I’m good at remembering names.
- I’m good at remembering dates.
- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
- My answers are totally honest…okay, so wtf is the point if they're not...

A Day in the Life... of an Incest Survivor

So, what does it mean to be an incest survivor? SURVIVAL.

I survived. I am a survivor. That's what I do...whatever life throws at me, I survive.

I did whatever I had to do each and every day to survive that day, to live to see the next day. No matter how degrading, abhorrent, or painful...I did what I had to to survive. I am proud of that. I was strong, and I survived. I am also ashamed of some of the things I did to survive. Ashamed, deeply ashamed of what was done to me, of the loss of myself as a person, of the loss of my voice.

But, now I am beyond those days. I am over it. Right?
Am I?
Will I ever be?

To this day, even married to a wonderful, loving, caring, understanding man, whom I love dearly and deeply, I have a very hard time with intimacy. Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy... It doesn't matter.
I prefer to be alone.
Alone is safe. Alone is peaceful.

I guess, after so many years of having to worry about and cater to my fathers "needs', that I just could really care less about spending the rest of my life worrying about anyone else s needs. For example; I could very happily live the rest of my life without sex. Truly. I might masturbate on rare occasions to relieve stress or pressure or whatever, but, sex with a partner.. uh uh. Don't need it. Really pretty much don't want it. And feel VERY pressured to "perform" as it were when my husband is in the mood. Does he pressure me? NO. Not knowingly. The pressure is entirely my childhood haunting me. In other words, its all in my head.

Knowing and understanding that does not make it easier. Knowing that does not make me enjoy sex.

So, what's the answer? And, as long as I live feeling this way, am I truly a survivor?

I wonder if I will ever truly get over my childhood. Will I ever be capable of giving to my husband as he deserves? I wonder if I will get past it once and for all.
Which really and truly pisses me off beyond words. It happened. For a long time. It was terrible. But... IT'S OVER!! So, why the hell can't I get over it already? Why can't I suck it up and deal? Why can't I just relax and enjoy touching and being touched?

Why must I always fight and fight and fight this internal battle with myself whenever I feel that my husband wants sex? Weeks of putting him off, making excuses, hiding the real feeling of utter panic. Finally giving in when I get to the point that I feel completely pressured and frustrated with the need to give him what he needs. I feel resentful. Angry. Ashamed. Frustrated. Irritated. Why can't I get past this?
He does not deserve this.
He deserves someone so much better and healthier than I am.
I wish I were better.

Baaaaaaad Blogger!

I have been a BAD blogger recently. I owe a great big apology to the five or six people who read my blog fairly regularly. So....

Can you forgive me???
My life has just been so damn BORING lately... I have logged in to write so many times over the past couple weeks, yet nothing comes to mind. I am suffering from the dreaded "Brain Blank" Syndrome. I look at the screen, and my brain goes blank. Very, very frustrating, I must say.

I spent today designing some new jewelry pieces... I am hoping to be able to sell my line through a couple small gift shops here near the metroplex. So, to that end, I am working to build my stock of custom, one of a kind designs up to a level that I can set an appointment with a retailer and get in there. Wish me luck!
Maybe I will post some pictures of some of my designs so that you can see what the heck I am talking about. Here ya go... a couple bracelet and earring sets:



I also design complete sets of necklace, bracelet, earrings and anklets... Just whatever pops into my brain when I sit down with my tools.
Above is a fun, funky earring design that I thought would be awesome for the 18-26 year old range, or older than that if the lady is not afraid to make a statement!
Below that is an amethyst glass and cloisonne bead bracelet and earrings set with goldtone accents, and an amber marchesite stone bracelet and earrings set with goldtone accents. Anyway, just wanted to let you see what I have been up to this weekend.
We really did not get hit too badly by Ike, thank God! But I pray for those folks down south of us that got slammed...Hope you are back on your feet very soon!

Sorry for lack of posts, my mother is visiting

Yes friends and neighbors, big momma is here!
My mother is visiting from upstate NY, and I have not had much computer time since last week. She will be visiting through Saturday, so I will likely be fairly scarce until then.
Be safe, happy and healthy till we meet again!

TMI Tuesday on Wednesday!

You find a fairy. With a wave of their wand they can change anything for you.

What is the one thing you would change about your body?

My weight. I need to drop the equivalent of an 8 or 9 year old child. I want my pre-childbearing figure back. Weight loss is difficult for me due to the rheumatoid arthritis, makes it very difficult and painful to work out.

What is the one personality trait you would change?

My temper... Little things make my fly off the handle, but I am calm with big things, so I guess it's not SO bad... but still.

What is the one thing about your job you would change?

Not HAVING one! SOMEBODY hire me for goodness sake! I am REALLY good at what I do, and am very hardworking, reliable, conscientious, organized and nice! What's a gal gotta do?!

What is the one thing about your home you would change?

I’d make the master bath bigger. I’d love a nice big bathtub and a separate stand up shower big enough for two. I’d basically just like more ROOM in there.

What is the one thing about your Significant Other you would change?

His hearing loss from his time in the Army. Gets frustrating having to repeat over and over. Otherwise, he is pretty much perfect for me!

Who is the one person you would poof out of your life and why?

My brother-in-law. For reasons I can't share here.

Who is the one person you would poof back in and why?

My friend Magdalena who just vanished. I will always miss her. I loved her like a sister and it hurt me deeply when she just disappeared from my life.

Yawn

So, my life is amazingly boring at the moment. I am not yet working, and I don't know anyone here yet, so the sum total of every day involves housework and cooking, with an occasional bike ride or dog walk thrown in just to break up the monotony.
This would be why I have not posted anything recently, and have been pretty much slacking at my blog.
My brain is atrophying.
I can feel it.

I have not yet sunk to watching soap operas or the Lifetime Movie Network, however, so there is hope for me yet!

I am waiting to hear back from a job interview that went amazingly well at a job that fit my skill set like a custom made glove. Cross your fingers for me?

I love Texas, and especially love our new house, but If I don't get out of this house SOON, I am going to completely lose it. Total meltdown. I am already getting to be a crabby witch just from the lack of money earned, work completed, conversations had... etc...

AAARRRGGGHHHHH!

Poor Sportsmanship

Did you see that?!? The Swedish wrestler just threw his bronze medal on the ground and stomped away! His coach, his team, and his mother should all line up and bitch-slap that boy!
My son threw his headgear once after he lost an important match.
Once.
I frog-marched that boy out of the gymnasium to the hallway and laid it on the line for him in clear black and white plain english.
Son, if you EVER pitch a fit like that again, it will be the LAST time you EVER step foot on a wrestling mat again. You lose a match, you shake hands with and congratulate your opponent on a good match, shake the coaches hand, leave the gym and then, when you are totally alone, you can be angry and upset. But, and hear me clearly, don't you EVER, EVER display your temper or upset in the gym again. It makes you look like a poor sport, makes your team look bad and reflects poorly on your momma. You really don't want to reflect poorly on your momma.
Poor sportsmanship really pisses me off, in case you were unclear.

Olympics 2008

I LOVE the Olympics.
I love watching the best athletes in the world compete to determine the very best in the world.
But, I especially love that there are winners and losers.
In general, those that have the most talent, work and train the hardest and longest, and have the most heart and guts win. Those who don't, lose.
In our country today with its suburbs and soccer moms, apparently winners and losers have been done away with.
Let's not hurt little Johnny or Jane's feelings by telling them that the other team was better than them and they lost.
Let's not encourage them to work harder, train harder, and become resolute and focused... let's instead have them play a game with no purpose, no goal, no chance to become exceptional.
My sons began team sports at age four, when I could no longer keep them off a wrestling mat. They were both attending their uncles wrestling matches from newborn age. When my oldest son turned four, my brothers were coaching a pee-wee wrestling group, and talked me into allowing J to participate. I thought he was too young. But, finally, I gave in, and I must admit; it was the best thing I could have done for my son. So, D was allowed to do the same, and today wrestles Varsity at his high school.
Allowing him to participate, practice, learn, train and gain confidence were awesome to watch. It was hard to watch him lose a match. But, whenever he would lose, after the match he and I would talk together about what had happened during his match and what he could do next time to perhaps do better. Sometimes, he had to accept that the other wrestler was just simply better than him! Horrors!
I must be a terrible parent to allow my son to be faced with the fact that sometimes people will be better than him at something. That sometimes he will lose. The other guy will win.
And he will just have to suck it up and deal.
Wonder what would happen to the Olympics if there were no winners or losers? If the officials just stood all the athletes at the podium and said "you were all awesome! nobody won, nobody lost!"
blech.

Guns, Bullets & Teachers

So, as I said in a way earlier post, now that I live in Texas, I intend to learn to handle weapons; most especially a handgun. So, W.H. (being all for my learning how to protect myself) looked around and found a gun range near our new home, and we went and checked it out tonight.
The range is only about 20 minutes away and I love it! No frills, no fuss... just a shack from which to rent lanes and weapons & buy ammo, and three sections of shooting lanes; handguns, rifles, and shotguns. I can't wait.
W.H. was Army, and rated "expert" in weapons, so he will be teaching me the basics. I fully intend to take the "Beginning Handguns" and "Concealed carry" safety classes eventually. For now, I just want to get to a point where I don't jump to the ceiling every time I hear a gun fire.
I will also be test firing several calibers of handguns to find out which one suits me best. On the recommendation of both W.H. and the range guy, I will be beginning with this:
A .380 caliber handgun. The guy handed me one to get a feel for this evening, and I liked how it felt in my hand... not too heavy, but not a lightweight either. Now I just have to see how it feels to fire.
Which I will be doing Tuesday evening! YAY!
Between me, W.H. and the range guy, we decided that since I am SO very gun-shy (watching your father try to blow mom's head off will do that every time!) It will be better for us to come to the range on a Tuesday evening when it is pretty much empty, and I can concentrate on learning gun safety, and not be reacting to so much gunfire.
I am really looking forward to it for several reasons.
Firstly, I need to overcome this irrational fear of guns. The GUN did not try to kill my mother. My FATHER tried to kill my mother, and a gun was simply the tool he used to make the attempt. Could have just as easily been a cast iron skillet.
Secondly, I really am concerned with the direction this country is taking. Neither candidate should be allowed to run a playground recess, much less our country. And when the big bad comes knocking on our country's door, I want to be able to defend my home and family.
And Thirdly, I want to be able to protect myself. I want to be able to walk from a store to my car without worrying about the rapist behind me. I want to do whatever I can to protect myself from the depravity of my fellow "humans".
But, I am not a fool. I also want to be safe FROM the tool I have selected to protect myself with. Therefore, I am becoming "grasshopper" and taking lessons from the master.

Books, Books, and more books!

A gauntlet has been thrown down by "Biped Employing Opposoable Thumbs" http://auspiciousnovice.blogspot.com/.
I am waiting to see how this list was chosen, but please see below:
Not Particularly a "Worm"

Biped reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books printed.
1) Bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo


Ok, so I have not read nearly enough of the classics, but frankly, a lot of the classics are simply boring. And don't think that just because I have read a lot of the classics that I am a snob! LOL! Far from it... I just love to read.
As far as the meme instructions go, I am unable to underline anything, but I did love many of the ones I have read! Anyone else out there a reader?

Anybody want to buy a house in Ohio?

For Sale:
Lovely four bedroom, 1.5 bath home with eat in kitchen, living room and family room. Many updates including newly remodeled family room with custom built-in floor to ceiling bookshelves and entertainment center wired for surround sound and designer paint!
Appliances include dishwasher, newer stove, refrigerator, dehumidifier in basement.
Great home set on one full acre property in the country! Many mature trees on property.
Call TC Wood Realty at 419-947-8015 to inquire about viewing the property located between the towns of Ashley and Cardington, Ohio. Cardington-Lincoln School District.
Go to www.tcwoodrealty.com to find listing # 2827944

It was a great house, in a great town, with a great school in a town with nice people. Now I just REALLY want to sell it!

My Life... Part 7...Living Terror

I know I have not written anything in this series for a while now; things were getting pretty heavy there for a while and I needed to take a break from the memories.

After that first night, my father began fabricating reasons for us to be alone. He would send my mother to the store, making her take my brothers with her. He would need me to accompany him into the woods to gather deadfall and kindling, etc...

Always, the moment we were alone, my father would be touching me, or making me touch him. He taught me how to masturbate him to ejaculation, then the proper way to perform oral sex for the most enjoyment for him. He taught me a lot.

I also learned never to say no. Never. Bad things happened to my mom when I said no. Her bruises were my fault because I tried to say no, told him I did not want to have sex, did not want him to touch me.
I hated it; every moment... in my mind, I wanted to vomit. My body though, that was another story entirely. It liked it. He would touch me in ways that I somehow knew was wrong and bad, and yet, I would have an orgasm. I felt dirty, ashamed, and I wanted to die. I must be a terrible person because otherwise my body would not like the things he did to it.
The older I got, the worse things got. The more my body developed, the more he wanted to show it off to his buddies in the bar. He bought me skimpy tops, made me remove my bra, and took me into the bar for an afternoon. I spent probably a complete year of my life in bars over the years with my father. Hour after hour, day after day. Exposing my developing body to drunken, leering men.
There was no escape.

I'm Back!

Ok, I am back, and will make a valiant effort to get back into the blogging daily habit! I have really missed this.

So, in the new house, which I LOVE, by the way, we have the floor replaced and the laundry machinery moved in finally... next is to finish the bathroom! Due to the extent of the flooding, we had to rip out the vanity, toilet, cupboard and floor completely. We are still working on getting all the sticky crap off the floor from where the old peel n' stick tile was left under the pergo floor!

I have a job interview set for Monday morning, YAY! Keep your fingers crossed for me! It is with a non-profit agency in Garland, and is considerably more money than I was able to earn in Ohio, so that would be lovely.

Let me know how things are for everyone out there... I promise to catch up on my reading as soon as possible!