Slobs

Not only am I surrounded by those of the testosterone bearing breed; I am surrounded by something even worse.
Slobs.
That's right. Total slobs.
My darling step-sons are total slobs. This is what comes of parents (such as their mother) never making them clean up after themselves or help out around the house.
Every day I come home to a mess. Every day. The kitchen counter covered in dishes, and crumbs and spills that they have not cleaned up after causing.
I don't ask a lot from them. Just CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS!
I got home tonight to the biggest mess so far. There was not a clean dish to be had. Somehow these two boys had managed to dirty every single dish. (My two sons are still in school til the end of the week)
I thought my head was going to explode. Not only do I already have plenty on my plate every day but now I have these two extra bodies laying around taking up space and wrecking the place.
I really, really want to bitch-slap their mom.
Grrr.

Stressed, Tired & Worn Out

I have officially reached maximum overload. I am truly at meltdown point.
I think I am in major need of a "girls night" of poker, beer & belly laughter.

He's gone again, and other random thoughts

So, wonderful hubby left yesterday for yet another business trip. Sad face.
This time though, he will only be gone a few days, and should report back to the homestead around midnight Thursday night.

We finally have a contract on the house in Texas, and the in-laws went to do a walk-through with our agent on Saturday and sent us a bunch of pictures. It is a bit of an older home, but on the plus side it IS 85 years newer than our current house, which is definitely a good thing! The only downside I can see is that it has a "one butt" galley kitchen and not a lot of cupboard space in the kitchen, but I am sure I will learn to deal. The rest of the house is very open and nice, and the closets are great.

In the two weeks that they have been here, eldest stepson has logged an average of 13 hours per day on the computer and youngest stepson has watched the first four seasons of BTVS on DVD in their entirety.
The only time they have stepped out the front door is when oldest takes out the trash and youngest takes out the dogs. The weather has been gorgeous, and I cannot fathom spending every minute indoors. They confuse me, I admit it. But, basically they are great kids, if a bit messy, so it's all good.

Oldest son is prepping for Graduation on Sunday (YAY! finally!) and we have all been making the rounds of various Graduation Parties this past week.
My ex-husband, his new wife, and their newborn (yes, a graduate and a newborn, **shudder**) will be here this weekend, along with my former M-I-L. Fun times, fun times.
Most of my family are teachers in NY state, and are still in school til the end of the month, so sadly will be unable to make the 500 mile drive out here.
We will be having a BBQ for his party out in the backyard, son is planning a trap-shoot competition, and we will have a bonfire after dark. Should be a good time, except for the noise of the gunfire. However, a good thing about that is we should not have to worry about any of the hundreds of birds that have decided to take up permanent residence in our trees poo-ing on anyone. Can't imagine they will stick around long once the guns start blazing. I may even take a turn trying to hit a tiny flying disk. We'll see.

Picture at top is our (hopefully) new house in Texas. Keep your fingers crossed for us that all turns out well and we can close next week as scheduled. Bureaucrats make the home buying process WAY harder than it needs to be.

Have a happy day!

My Life... Part 6...Innocence Lost

It's late. The moon is full, and in the clearing I can see the fire pit and the picnic table. I see the Iris that my mother had planted the year before that smells like grape kool-aid and I hear the breeze in the trees all around me. It's a little chilly, but not cold.
The forest is not quiet at night. Leaves rustle, a branch falls somewhere behind me, and peeper frogs are chirping in the night. I am lying awake in my sleeping bag, looking at the stars in the sky, watching the trees sway gently above me, listening to the peaceful night sounds.
I sense movement to my right, where my parents are laying in their sleeping bag. My mother is asleep, and my father rolls over to face me. "Can't sleep?" he asked in a whisper, reaching over and placing his hand on my stomach, rubbing in small circles.
"Let me help you" he said, and began massaging gently.
We had always been a "touchy" family, lots of hugs and such when things were good, so I thought nothing of this.
After a few minutes, I began to feel drowsy, my eyes getting heavier when suddenly my whole body stiffened as his hand moved over my small budding breast.
"SHH!" he whispered harshly, pressing down with his hand, holding me in place.
I was scared.
He didn't stop.
I was ten years old.
He didn't stop.
I was innocent.
He didn't stop.

He didn't stop.

Never Again

I am lying on a reclining medical chair, pillow behind my head, IV needle in my hand, and two IV bags hanging from a hook on the wall above my head.
I feel kind of dizzy, and strange. Not bad. Sleepy. Two hours into the treatment, four more to go.
I doze off, my book falls to my chest.
A few minutes later, that dizzy, strange feeling changes things up a bit. My chest feels heavy. I pick up my book and move it to the table beside me. My chest still feels heavy. It is taking more effort to breath. The nurse looks over and asks the frequently asked question "are you doing ok? Any changes?" This time, instead of saying alls good, I tell her about the heaviness.
Instantly, things in this room full of IV attached patients start to move pretty quickly.
The IV drip is turned off, only the saline is running. The doctor is called and less than a minute goes by before she is there.
Meanwhile, the heaviness in my chest has spread upward, and my throat is swelling at an alarming rate, making breathing more a real chore than an unconscious action.
The doctor orders 1000 units of steroids and 25 units of Benadryl to counteract the allergic reaction. No change, swelling continues. I now fairly closely resemble an NFL Linebacker in the neck region. Doc orders another 400 units of steroids and another 25 of Benadryl.
The waiting begins.
Slowly, the heaviness in my chest lightens a bit. The swelling in my throat begins to go down over the course of the next 40 minutes, and breathing gets a bit easier.
Doc comes to check on me and actually said "once the reaction is completely under control, with the massive amounts of steroid and benadryl we have given you, we can go ahead and start the IV drip again".
(WTF?!?!?!)
I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from asking if she was high.
HELLO!! My body has just quite convincingly demonstrated to me that I am ALLERGIC to this chemical cocktail! HELL NO you are not starting it back up the second I can fricking breathe again!
So now, I am home, sicker than hell and my heart is all wonky from the massive doses of steroids now jumping throughout my bod along with two hours worth of chemicals. Doc tells me that my heart will feel like this for a couple days. YAY.
Gotta love modern medicine.

Stem Cells Anyone?

My Doctor is starting me on a new medication today that is such a horrendous mix of chemicals that they have to infuse them over a period of six hours. Fun times, fun times!
Yea. I'm thinkin' not.
When the insurance company approved (at up to $11,000 per dose) the medication change, I called to make the appointment. Now, for the past year, I have been getting Remicade through IV every six weeks and was able to schedule it for a Friday (my day off). With this crap, the nurse told me that I would have to come on a Wednesday, as they can only administer it when the doctor is in the office all day because they never know how a patient will respond to the cocktail!
For the love of God people! Can we make an effort to come up with something a little LESS likely to kill me?
So, since in the thirteen years since I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (an Auto-Immune Disease in which my immune system is attacking and destroying any and all joint tissue) there has not been a medication that has worked for longer than a few months, a year at most, we are looking into ASC (Adult Stem Cell therapy).
Yes! It can be done, We can make her better, faster, stronger than ever before!
Oh, wait...Sorry for the Bionic Woman side-trip there.
I may have to go to Israel, or Japan, but apparently there is a process by which they can take stem cells from MY body, reprogram them, put them back in, and put me in total remission!
Sign me up people! Must do some further research into this. And, hubby mentioned yesterday that there may actually be some places here in the states that can do it. Picture the semi-cripple happy dance happening here at the thought of that!
Ok, gotta go get ready for this.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day.
A day to remember those who gave their lives that we may be free.
Free to fly our Flag with pride.
Free to speak our minds.
Free to live, love, laugh, worship, learn, each in our own way.

I have never lost a loved one in the struggle for freedom. But my husband served for years before I ever met him. He was in during the first Gulf War. Had he not been needed in Germany, he could have been lost before I ever had a chance to meet him.

I just want to say to all the brave, resolute men and women who voluntarily have put themselves in harms way to protect the American way of life...to those who made the sacrifice, to the families of those who have been lost in that struggle...
THANK YOU!
You are the reason we are free. May we never forget it.