On Quitting Smoking

I am a smoker. I admit it. Yes, I know, I am evil and must be destroyed...well, at least hidden away somewhere that my foulness cannot infect the environs of the pure and holy. (can you see my eyes rolling?) I promise to explain the eye-rolling sarcasm so as not to offend any of my non-smoking readers.

Anyway... I started smoking at age 11. YES! 11. My older brother T dared me to try one, he was 13 at the time. Of course, as the only girl, i had to be as tough as the guys or face torment and torture or getting the shit beat out of me... so, I tried it.

Took to it right off. Never coughed, choked, didn't turn green or get sick...just sucked in that sweet, sweet nicotine and felt the wonderful rush. I managed to steal cigarettes from my parents for more than four years before being caught. Dad smoked Pall Mall non-filters and paid less attention to how many he had in a pack, and since he was usually drunk, he was easy to snag from. Mom smoked Benson & Hedges 100's. Lady-like cigarettes.

Once I got to junior high school I could sneak off campus with my new friends (the burn-outs) who left campus every day to go smoke a couple blocks away. Then I would use my lunch money to buy a pack of Marlboro's. I quit hanging with that group when I realized that I was starting to be known as a "burn-out" too... and since they also smoked dope during lunch, that was a no-no to me. But, I kept on smoking.

Fast forward to today. I am now 40 years old and have smoked for one-third of my life. Because I am ADDICTED.
Yes friends and neighbors, I am a nicotine junkie.

I have tried many times and many ways over the years to quit.
I have tried the patch, the pill, the filter, the step-down cigarettes. Nothing has worked for the long term. My longest non-smoking time was two years.
Just know though, that the second I was told I was pregnant, I put the smokes down during my entire pregnancy, then smoked outside after the baby was born. Smoking was MY choice, not the baby's.

However, our story does have a semi-happy ending...
I am now in Day 7 with NO CIGARETTES!

Yes! Seven entire days with no smoking... and I have not killed anyone, either! Haven't even been particularly bitchy... and I owe it all to this stuff:
Stonewall Hard Snuff...comes in three flavors, Cappuccino, wintergreen and regular. Very yummy stuff, no yucky spitting or other chew-like habits, and lets you wean yourself off tobacco without bitchiness, murder or mayhem.
I absolutely recommend this stuff if you wanna keep the nicotine but get rid if yucky smokes.
I am actually only using it when the craving gets really really bad... because I want to get rid of the addiction as well as the smoking... but a friend uses them in place of cigarettes.

On a side note: Do'ya think I could have perhaps found a MORE stressful time in my life to quit smoking???

Anyway...I need another cup of coffee...