Milestones

It's here. Finally. Yet way too fast.
J is graduating from High School tomorrow.
Wasn't he just born last week?
Time has gone by so quickly. He has grown from my beautiful little 8 lb 9 oz baby to this large, hairy wonderful man in a matter of days it seems.
Of course, as an honest woman, I must admit that some moments have seemed that time has stopped completely. (You know those times, the terrible twos, the mouthy teens, etc... ya know, times when you completely understand why some animals eat their young)

J is this amazing person, one who will get out of bed in the middle of the night to help a friend. Someone who will stop at a broken down vehicle to help the stranded person. Someone who will go pick up a friend that has had too much to drink at a party, and bring them home for me to take care of. People know that they are safe with him, that they can trust him. That alone makes me proud to be his mom. That alone makes all the frustrations worthwhile.

Tomorrow will be a very emotional day for me. For the last half of my life, he and his brother have pretty much been the focus of my life. I have been to countless football games, wrestling matches, track meets, teacher conferences, spent nine days at the beginning of football season dragging myself to the school every morning at 5am to feed the football team breakfast and lunch while they participated in the "nasty nine". Nine days of living at the school as a team.
Being available whenever, wherever, and however they needed me to be.
It was always the most important thing to me that my boys know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was there for them.

And now, my firstborn is a man. He is graduating high school, starting a new full-time job on Monday and moving into his first apartment with his buddies in a couple weeks.
I will worry. I will wonder. I will drive hubby nuts missing him. But, I will know that he is okay. He is intelligent, (although of course doesn't always make the best decisions) he is strong, he is independent, and he is wonderful.

I love this man that came from my body. At times I have loved him fiercely, been frustrated beyond words, been enraged, been completely bewildered by his choices, been enraged. But, overwhelmingly, I have been proud.

I am proud to call this man son.